C-BAC Smack!

FOR THE LOVE OF SMACK!

2009-08-26T22:12:00.004-06:00

Let the football season begin!!! If you guys have noticed I haven’t posted in awhile it’s because I’ve been saving every ounce of creativity and putting it in my smack reserve. Now that the League of Champions (CBAC Fantasy Football) has begun I’m cocked and loaded ready to unleash a verbal beat down on each opponent each and every week of this fantasy season. Come prepared if you like but either way you’ll be going home cryin’, hatein’, and wishin’ there was something more you could do. If I could count a win for every time I demoralize an opponent to a shell of their former selves, I’m pretty sure I’m going undefeated this year. Wins will be an optional bonus. Get ready losers, Scuba’s coming and he’s bringing the smack.

Cougar Quick Hits

2009-08-05T14:14:00.002-06:00

In mid-July, former Utah coach, Urban Meyer said that he didn’t think the 2004 version or the 2008 version of his former team could withstand the grind of the SEC. BYU head coach, Bronco Mendenhall retaliated with, "Sometimes the things said in public are different than the things said in private to the rest of the league," he said. "I guess I would like the ability to see. So we will continue to play and schedule and do the best we can within our given realm of influence to show that. But possibly the system will change, and those matchups will happen more frequently, and everyone will know. Right now, we have Wyoming [beating] Tennessee off of last year [in the regular season]."At some point, unless we are in the same league or have access to compete -- or are deemed worthy to have access -- it will be just speculation. But right now, Utah-Alabama, Wyoming-Tennessee -- at least against the SEC [we've been successful].”

Mendenhall told the Deseret Morning News, that scheduling Oklahoma wasn’t necessarily needed to gain a little humble pie. "We're humble enough," he said. "When you don't win the conference, you don't win your bowl game and you don't win the state championship, there isn't a player or coach on the team who is satisfied with that."

In that vein, Max Hall is the 11th QB at BYU since 1974 to come in and the team’s clear-cut starter as a senior. Every single previous quarterback has led BYU to a conference championship, completing 65% of their passes for an average of 3666 yards, 30 plus TD’s, and 13 INT’s. The numbers are looking like a good bet for anther championship in Cougar Country.

Speaking of Max Hall, he is on pace to finish his career second in passing yards, total offense, and passing TD’s to Ty Detmer. He is set to pass John Beck as the MWC leader in passing yards and touchdowns and take his place along side many other BYU greats, like Jim McMahon, Steve Young, Detmer, and Beck. He’s also been added to the Davey O’Brien watchlist this season.

BYU has released its 2009 game day t-shirts, on sale now at the BYU Bookstore for $5. Absent is the year’s slogan which Bronco opted against this season, for obvious reasons.

Good news for fans of any non-BCS team. A tweak to the Rose Bowl will allow greater access for non-BCS teams to participate in the exclusivity of the BCS games.

Its been 11 years since BYU beat a ranked, non-conference opponent. And its not looking any better for this season against Oklahoma. In that same time, the Cougars only have two wins against ranked opponents: 1999 against CSU (#23) and 2006 against TCU (#17). Since 1999, Utah is 9-6 against ranked, non-conference opponents and TCU is 4-3. BYU’s last top ten win also happens to be its only win against a #1 ranked opponent, 1990 versus Miami. Since that game, they are 0-12-1 against top ten ranked opponents with two of those losses against Utah.

Just a few Utah notes: Highly touted defensive back, James Aiono won’t be suiting up for the Crimson and White this season. He has been declared academically ineligible. The Utes also have scheduled a home and away set against 2004 Fiesta Bowl foe, Pittsburg, to begin next season.

Your Cougar Insider

Tuesday Tidbits

2009-08-04T10:42:00.004-06:00

Hey, much has been discussed on here over the past few months regarding the makeup of the Jazz and what it should be, what we want it to be, etc. Click here to read Scuba's delicious parable.

To provide a counter point that I feel better marks the desires of the current Jazz fan base, I wanted to repost this article I came across while perusing online sports sites. I posted this link to my Facebook page last night, but for those of you who don’t subscribe to online networking channels, here is the link one more time.

I think anyone who holds a team hostage like Boozer has, flip flops for a $12.7M contract, then goes on the war path telling anyone who will listen that he deserves a raise while only putting in 2/3 the work of anyone else needs to have his head checked. Honestly, who, while making a mere $12.7M this next season, says in regards to the slumping economy, “With the lull that we're having, obviously it's a great [incentive] to not have to pay a state tax.” Do you really need a little more money Carlos? Are you really that worried about your future? Might I advise you to not only hire a PR guy to help you wash your mouth out, but also advise you to seek an investment guy who will help you manage your $12.7M?

Please just go away.

If you care to look, here is Carlos's mere $2M home in SL

And here is his $7.3M home in Miami

Photos courtesy of Celebrity Detective.

Cougar Bites

2009-07-25T15:00:00.003-06:00

A few more noteworthy snippets for those who, like me, can’t enough:

The MWC is playing 13, non-conference games against BCS foes this season. All but three of those are away from the comfort of home. Wyoming has the Longhorns coming into town. How they pulled that off, I’ll never know. It doesn’t really matter though because I don’t know anyone in their right mind that would give them a snowball’s chance of winning that game without a blizzard acting as their twelfth defender. Each of the “big three” is playing two non-conference BCS foes so if we (as a conference) can win a majority of these games, we can set up a team for another BCS breakthrough.

Click here to see if your TV provider will be proving you with the most games for watching your Cougars this season. I don’t have a quick link for Utah’s TV schedule, but based on the info from the site, Utah has 5 games on the MTN., 2 on CSTV, 2 on Versus, and 2 on ESPN channels. The BYU game will be simulcast on the MTN and CSTV.

Last year’s debacle (is a 10-3 season considered a debacle?) can be blamed on several things: BYU’s over hype for national prominence, the “Quest” misunderstanding, Max Hall’s ability to find wide open defenders . . .. This year they have refocused their goals and their attention. Sure, it helps that they don’t have the big media spotlight shining on their backs to begin this season, but a win over Oklahoma in week one will put the squarely in the public eye again. A win over reining Heisman Trophy winner Sam Bradford and the rest of Sooner Nation and the media will be playing BYU’s song for a possible National Championship birth.

BYU QB Max Hall says this year will be about having fun again and playing for the love of football.

Your Cougar Insider

2009-07-25T14:43:00.006-06:00

BYU Quick Hits

The college football season is fast approaching; many college camps open in mere weeks. The time has come to grab a hold on your favorite bandwagon and prepare for the ride. I’m hoping that by making this post, I can inspire one of my fellow CBAC bloggers to take up the mantle of “Ute Insider” and keep us all posted on the happenings for the team “on the hill.” Here is just a quick sampling of some coming highlights for the 2009 football season.

As tough a schedule as I can remember in years, including a neutral site game against:

Oklahoma Florida State Utah State

TCU and Utah

Nationally televised games for all the big games – all on HD!

Coach Mendenhall has been hitting the recruiting path hard this off-season, landing a whopping 20 as of today, including top-rated QB, Jake Heaps, as well as other four-star recruits, WR Ross Apo, and DE Bronson Kaufusi and Kona Schwenke.

Check out the new 2009 BYU Football Guide here.

I can smell the football in the air. ESPN is starting to talk more and more about it. If you read any of the local sports chat rooms, rivalry talk is rampant and excited. Utah is coming off unquestionably the best season in its program’s history, the MWC’s history, and possibly all of non-BCS history. TCU is picked to win the conference. But both schools have to come through Provo and that always bodes well for the Cougar faithful.

Your Cougar Insider

The Jazz: A Parable of the Guacamole Six Dollar Burger

2009-06-03T23:46:00.002-06:00

This post is in response to Banker’s post concerning the Jazz off-season moves and the discussion it provokes. I know CBAC Smack rules dictate that we respond in the comments section but I felt that my rebuke was enough of its own topic to be a separate post. I’ll start off by saying that I’m no stranger to Carl’s Jr. I’ve been a fan for quite some time and my current belt notch is probably thanks to that franchise. In my years of patronage, I’ve never had the guacamole six dollar burger. I’ve always thought it looked okay and some of my friends would get that burger every time we went there and go on and on about how good the “Guac-burger” is. Recently I had a coupon for it so I thought I’d try it. Man, I opened up that box and it looked great! Bacon, Cheese, Guac, the works. From the first bite only one thought came to my mind. GROSS. I was immediately regretting my choice of lunch. I finished that burger hoping with each bite that the choice I made would somehow get better. By the end, my stomach was reeling and my colon was very upset, almost yelling at me, for making such an ignorant choice. I have a feeling my system will be paying for that choice for awhile longer.

In my mind, this experience could be correlated to the Jazz. This off-season is like the Jazz standing in line, coupons in hand, waiting to order. The choices made could disrupt the system for many moons to come. Everyone’s talking about “Bosh for Booze”, “Get Memo out of Town”, “Lose the bigs and get some defense”, and “Blah,blah,blah”. I’m just here to say that sometimes the best change is no change. Stick with the spicy chicken or the super star. Jazz fans should be careful what they’re wishing for in being so quick to lose our “20&10” guys. If we're not careful we could be on the outside of the playoffs looking in. Loosing records haven’t ever really been part of the Jazz culture but believe me, if we’re too hasty with our coupons, we’ll most likely regret our off-season choices. I say we keep our core group of guys (except CJ – he’s always expendable) and make a go at it again next year. If Boozer gives us 4 or 5 months without injury and solid effort all will be water under the bridge and the fans will love him again. Look at AK, after the Houston series a few years ago the whole city wanted his head on a skewer. Now he’s just “Overpaid but Lovable AK”.

Keep the team. Ride out the waves and turmoil. Take the cap hit for a year and we’ll have a look at going deep in the playoffs this coming season. Hasty decisions this off-season could be more damaging to the Jazz system than the Guac-burger was to my system. Just saying…

Tuesday Conversation

2009-06-02T16:34:00.003-06:00

So, this will be a quick thought to hopefully spur on a conversation. I was recently contemplating the quick exit from the playoffs the Jazz made this year (not bad considering we were in the Conference Finals, the second round, and then bounced in the first this season) and wondering what the future might hold for the Jazz. The team has a new president who said he likes all our players. But I, as do many of you I am sure, feel that this relationship has gone on too long with some of these players, and dare I say coaches?, and its time to cut ties and start the healing now.

That being said, of the current roster, who would you like to see go or stay and why?

I've reviewed several mock drafts and one has the Jazz drafting two point guards. The other has the Jazz drafting 6-11 PF out of Gonzaga, Austin Daye. What do you expect to see in the draft?

And of the potential free agency market, does anyone catch your eye?

Banker's Bites

2009-05-11T11:20:00.002-06:00

Ah, I can feel the lethargy settling in like a thick fog on my brain. We’ve officially entered the doldrums of summer in the sports world. The Jazz season came to a crashing halt in Los Angeles two weeks ago and all we have left is to sit and watch while the Jazz face a reconstruction period, possibly equivalent to the size of the I-15 reconstruction pre-2002. Does Boozer opt out? Do they try to keep Millsap if Boozer stays? What about Memo, Korver, and the other five players currently in the final year of their contracts?

Football is on hold now till the end of summer. The draft is past, spring camps have opened and closed and now all we have to hold on to is how does BYU prepare to face the Big Time in OU in Jerry’s New House and how does Utah plan to maintain the same level they played at last year. Fantasy football is approaching, but you can only mock draft so many times before you want to rip your face off just to change up the monotony.

RSL is in full swing and despite Scuba Steve’s belittling of soccer on this very blog last October; I’m a big fan. (For those who may also be fans, but haven’t found where to watch the games, I’ve found them on 2.2 on the new digital channels.) But you can only hold on to so much soccer.

So what does that leave us? I’ll tell you what’s piling up on my radar screen: lots and lots of outside time. Yard work, swimming pools, park playgrounds, camping, hiking, backpacking. It’s a great thing to live in this state where we get to enjoy seasons because there is so much to do. So shake off those cobwebs, put the Jazz, the Cougars and Utes, and the rest of the I-don’t-care-who-wins-it-all NBA out of your mind and get outside and enjoy the weather.

(By the way, does anyone know of any great, lesser-known or unknown camping spots here in the State that are good for families?)

Fry Sauce is Always a Recipe for Success

2009-04-21T14:15:00.003-06:00

Would you like this?

Or this?

What’s the difference you might ask? Well, it’s as simple as this?

Struggling to tell the difference?

If you ask most people who have had the opportunity to taste a burger of any proportion from In ‘N Out Burger (I personally recommend the 3x3 with extra cheese) they will tell you they either love it or hate it. Until recently, I hated it. But I digress. A few years ago a new company moved into American Fork that served a similar menu called Chadders. Set side-by-side, the burgers are nearly identical, but in my opinion, there are one or two little things that make one better than the other. Comparing these pictures of the Utah Jazz’s Mehmet Okur seems unsubstantial; in fact, they were taken only two months apart. The first one is Memo hitting a huge shot in the dwindling minutes of a game against the Lakers just before All-Star Weekend and the second is Memo getting scored on by a short-handed Golden State team in a game we should have easily won.

I’m still struggling to see much difference myself. They are both tasty and delicious and writing this makes me want to drive to West Valley or American Fork and grab another hat trick with double cheese, fries, and a Coke. The differences are so negligible as not be noteworthy. One huge difference in my esteemed opinion is the fry sauce. What? I said fry sauce.

Fry sauce makes everything better. It’s awesome and it makes a world of difference. What goes into fry sauce varies, depending on the maker. I usually prefer a little Miracle Whip (gotta love the zip), BBQ sauce (its tangier than ketchup), some limejuice, and a little pickle juice if available.But the subtle differences between the Jazz of the longest win streak in more than a decade and the one that couldn’t even beat an eight man rotation of a lottery-bound Warriors team are more glaring and obvious. Several that come to mind include defense (or a serious lack of it), a lack cohesiveness stemming from all the injuries, Sloan says they need “nastiness,” and a not-so-apparent lack of commitment to the overall goal. So what is the recipe for getting back to that team that beak Los Angeles barely two months ago? Let’s just call it fry sauce. You mix in a little bit of this and a little bit of that and you’ll have fry sauce. This fry sauce needs some “nastiness.”

What recipe might you suggest for the Jazz’s secret fry sauce?

By the way, I prefer Chadders . . . in case you were wondering.

...And we'll find a way.

2009-04-09T21:27:00.002-06:00

This song is dedicated to a special group of people in this world. Right now it seems like there are three types of NBA fans with regards to our beautiful Jazz team. They are the Jazz-Faithful, the Jazz-Undecided and the full blown Jazz-Haters. I, a Jazz-Faithful, am dedicating this song to all the Jazz-Undecided and a few select Jazz-Haters with a soft heart. I extend this song to you with a stretched out hand and an olive branch. I have a dream that all Jazz fans can join hands and say, "Jazz, amidst all the Jazz-Hatred and Booze-Hatred and Sloan-Fairweathering, you do still have fans that love you. We’ll Stick with you baby...and together...we’ll find a way."

It's a commonly accepted principal of the NBA that the playoffs are a different beast than the regular season. Remember the year the Jazz went to the Western Conference finals they limped into the playoffs like a sick puppy, licking it’s wounds. In this desperate time the team needs us more than ever. We'll be faithful to Jazz, through thick and thin, sickness and health for richer or for poorer as long as the Jazz's slump shall live. I guarantee when the rain stops and the sunshine shines on this beautiful team again, you won’t be disappointed. You will be joyous and happy that you stuck it out with a defenseless, and lazy, stagnate, slum of a team. It’s always darkest before the dawn so stick with them baby. They’ll find a way.

Cut-throat Cutler to Da Bears!

2009-04-03T11:18:00.004-06:00

So the divorce is final huh? Too bad for the Denver, they lost a great tough quarterback. Too bad for Green Bay, because Bret Favre II is about to roll into Chicago and start slapping Green Bay around. This guy is tough, accurate and a flat out competitor. He, like Brett, negotiates like he plays - very very tough. Good luck talking to him down the road!
Who knows if he is the real deal, but he's one player that doesn't play soft, then talk tough. He talks tough because he plays tough. For that reason, he'll fit in well in Chicago.
And thumbs, you should give this one a double thumbs up. Pedro mustache Orton is out, Cut-Throat Cutler is in.

Cinderella is HOT!!

2009-03-15T15:19:00.011-06:00

Every year I cheer for her, the ugly duckling that has hardly a chance to score with Zach Morris. But don't forget, Cinderella did score with the Prince! The great thing about this tourney is she DOES have a chance. Which ugly duck will I pull for this year? Hmmm. Utah State is definately on the list. The fact that BYU hasn't passed the 1st round since I was knee high to a grasshopper puts them on the list, IN BOLD. Utah has a good chance of advancing, but it all depends on Lucas de Neville. Baseline. Baseline.

Cheers to spring time temps and Luther's "One Shining Moment" song with CBS's recap. I shed a tears every year. "The ball is tipped....."

I'm off to Vegas to put all my economic stimulas money on an ugly yet very confident duck. Have a great tourney and may your team's dream come true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLsS0ek3IM8

Its March

2009-03-11T13:24:00.001-06:00

And in case you've under a rock, the NCAA Tournament begins soon. In preparation, collegiate conferences are holding tournaments all across the country to play for the right to go Dancing. Right here in our own backyard, the Mountain West Conference is having a pretty good season. We had Utah holding a lead in the conference for most of the season, but BYU and New Mexico stepped it up to even the chase and finish with a three-way tie. UNLV and SDSU are having very good seasons as well and with the tournament being held in Vegas; look for UNLV to make some noise.

Just like during the football season, the MWC is showing that it has the ability to be a competitive league both internally and against foes from across the country.

I for one am excited for the dancing to begin. I love March Madness.
p.s. I got a bracket group set up on ESPN. If you want in and I didn’t already email you, let me know.

Where's the passion?

2009-03-11T13:10:00.001-06:00

“We just had a baby.”
“I have been traveling a ton for my job.”
“My computer broke.”
“The dog ate my homework.”

What do all these excuses have in common? Well, all but maybe the last one. They are all pretty valid excuses for an extended (read, 63 days) break from writing on the most exciting, power-packed, insightful sports blog on the web. Unfortunately, I cannot lay claim to a single one of them. Let me try again:

“I don’t have Sports Center.” “I still don’t have a radio in my car, 4 and ½ years after it was stolen, thus no sports talk radio.” “Ummm, I’m kinda lame.”

Wow, I am a little lame.

Since football season ended, I’ve been a bit of a hermit when it comes to sports. I’ve picked up right where we left off with 24, Idol, The Office, and a few other new shows, including Lie To Me. By the way, that Michael Scott roast on SuperBowl Sunday was one of the best moments from the show this season. Hilarious.

What I haven’t been able to figure out is why it has taken me until just recently to really start embracing the passion that is being a Jazz fan. Is it because we’ve all been on a gigantic Carlos Boozer roller coaster (is he hurt?, will he leave?, do we care?), is it because the team (until recently) has been hurt and running at half speed? Did it take LHM’s passing to shake me from this funk? I don’t really know what it is, but I’ll tell you, whatever is helping me to shake off the cobwebs, I am grateful. I don’t have cable or satellite so I only get to watch the occasional game at home or when someone is nice enough to invite us to watch at their place, but I am finding myself in front of my computer watching it via GameCast on ESPN. This team is hot and peaking at the right time. 12 in a row is amazing. Longest streak in nearly a decade. Approaching the longest streak in franchise history. Boozer is back and the team is gelling quickly. We sit atop the division and look poised to move into that third seed in the West.
If you aren’t excited yet, you are missing out. This team is exciting and fun to watch. The games for the rest of this week will show us a little bit more of the mettle of this team as the Jazz get Atlanta on the heels of a back-to-back, and then Miami and Orlando on a back-to-back all on the road. The regular season comes to a close soon and I am ready for the playoffs.

The Oden Solution

2009-02-25T01:06:00.003-07:00

I think I figured out the answer to many of the questions regarding Greg Oden. Very Curious indeed.

…he’s aging in reverse.

Scuba's IcyHOT! and Not-So-Hot NBA Lists

2009-02-19T23:56:00.003-07:00

I’ve had top ten lists on the brain lately. Watching different games around the NBA has brought me to the conclusion that there are players that bring out three different types of emotions within me. Good emotions, bad emotions, and indifference. With that in mind I’ve come up with two lists of my top ten NBA players. The good and the bad. I can’t make a top ten list of indifferent players because they’re all indifferent to me.

Top Ten List signifies the tippity-topness of the NBA's elite according to Yours Truly. – These are the guys I love to watch. They're getting paid ridiculous amounts of money and earning every penny. Give them a raise!!! Bottom Ten list is full of Scuba's pretenders, prima donas, and the disgraceful. Enjoy.

Top Ten (In no order)
1.D-Will - Amazing. He makes me proud to be a Jazz fan.
2.LeBron - No question. This man could make any team great.
3.Kobe - Rapist or not, he is the best player in the entire association.
4.Andre Igoudala - I don't know how many people are actually big fans of the real AI but his is top tier in my opinion.
5.Monta Ellis - Always been a big fan of Mon-tay. Stud on the court.
6.CP3 - Amazing, amazing, amazing. Reminds me of me. j/k
7.Devin Harris - Freakishly fast.
8.Dwight Howard - Imagine Karl Malone jumping high enough to touch the top of the backboard. 9.KG - Domination from dedication
10.Derrick Rose - Very impressive. I'm more a fan of his game than he himself.

Bottom Ten (In no order)
1.Caron Butler - I see this guy on the TV and I want to throw my ottoman through a wall.
2.Gilbert Arenas (Ov-ver-rate-ted Clap, clap, clapclapclap)
3.David West - Never been impressed.
4.CJ Miles - Still waiting for him to start earning his 15mill. I shouldn't hold my breath though.
5.Nate Robinson - This guy's attitude screams "I'm a Chump" every time he's on the court. The dunk contest cemented my opnion of him.
6.Sasha Pavlovic - Coattails.
7.Tony Parker - Flopper
8.Jason Kapono - I'm not sure what it is about him that I don't' think I'm the only person that would like to punch him in the face.
9.Eddie House - His game is very "Churchball".
10.Carmelo Anthony - Flopper and a crybaby.

All are welcome and invited to disagree in the comments section. I'll think you're wrong for disagreeing but you're welcome to nonetheless.

Jazz Fans: Take a memo from Memo

2009-01-28T00:01:00.004-07:00

Over the past couple of years I have observed an interesting charicteristic of Mehmet Okur. It's been commented about in the media as well. The trait being that emotionally, Mehmet Okur never gets too high or too low at any point in time during his NBA career. The outcome of the games affect him but not to any one extreem.

I think the ruthless fans in this What-Have-You-Done-For-Me-In-The-Last-Two-Seconds Town should take a page or two out of Memo's book and just relax a litle bit. Don't get too hyped up or too wiped out. This goes for the media as well. I remember before the seaon started and David Locke and all his KFAN girlfriends were predicting the Jazz's season for this year and they hyped the Jazz so high up that anything less than a championship is an utter disaster of a season.

Let's all just take a few deep breaths, relax, and enjoy the season. Sleep sound when they win but don't start planning the victory parade or heating up the bronze for another statue. When they lose...well, you can be upset but you might want to think twice before jumping out of your bedroom window. It might provide your neighbors with some good entertainment and your doctor with some itinerary, but it won't overturn the defeat.

Jazz fans, take a memo from Memo and just accept this Tiny Tim of a team for what they are and you'll see that they're fairly constant. Pluggin' along. For every unexpected loss, they usually have an unexpected win and when it comes playoff time they'll be in the playoff picture.

Last thing, (for crying out loud) stop calling in to the radio stations to nitpick after every single loss. Recognize that for every one of you callers there are 100,000 listeners rolling their eyes on the way into work. Stop doing it! It's annoying.

Memo, you the man. Thanks for the example.

Ode to Joy

2009-01-22T22:55:00.005-07:00

Close your eyes and imagine with me for a moment that you are driving down the freeway. You are maintaining a safe speed and are alert with both hands on the wheel. Suddenly a reckless vehicle speeds past you at 100 mph weaving in and out of lanes like some doped-up Frogger getting paid on lane-change commission.

A few thoughts and feelings pass through your body all at the same time. Anger: "That idiot's going to kill himself and someone else!!". Fear: "Get out of his way!". My personal favorite, Rage: You say under your breath all the soft explitives you can think of including "Piece of Crap Chump Sauce". Along with those feelings there’s also a feeling deep down that longs for justice to be paid out. “Statistics are going to catch up with that guy and he’s going to end up in the hospital”.

Okay now imagine driving a few more miles to find the car pulled over while a highway patrol officer issues him a speeding ticket. What a satisfying feeling that is. Or imagine catching up to the car a few miles down the road only to find that the vehicle was in a horrendous rollover accident. Satisfaction suddenly turns to regret, remorse, and concern for the reckless driver and those involved.

Now open your eyes…(congratulations on reading with your eyes closed). This illustration was to help the readers and the media understand the feelings they have for the Dallas Cowboys. That football team, whether you like them or you hate them, demands your attention at all times. They’re flashy, they’re controversial, they aren’t the quiet Jags or Vickings slipping into NFL 08-09 oblivion.

They are the reckless driver on the freeway and everyone's eyes are on them for better for worse. Whether it be the satifcation of seeing the Pacman Pullover, or the worrying sickness of the T.O. locker room Rollover/Explosion. The Cowboys didn’t even make the playoffs and they’re still filling the all the sports airways and we're just days from the Super Bowl.

I know what you're thinking and I can just say that you may not feel the regret, remorse, and concern that I do right now, but wait until you’re yawning your way through the Steelers/Cardinals Super Bowl and you start longing to see those cool Stars that everyone loves to hate and it will hit you like a mule-kick to the groin.

Even in this most dissapointing of years, I still find it quite easy to be a Cowboys fan. It must be that one feeling that I forgot to mention earlier that the whole National Football League seems to be feeling.......Envy.

Closing Ode to My Joy
Cowboys count your casualties. Regroup, refocus, and return. The nation's eye is on you as it has been for decades. Let the star shine and sing back with a brilliant bellowing baritone blue and a majestic magical miricle that will truely land you on top. Superbowl XLIV Victors. A Lonestar atop the National Football League.

To the REAL National Champs

2009-01-07T15:09:00.002-07:00

Credit actually goes to DK Smack for finding this article, but I thought it would be nice to share with everyone. http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=3815656. Nice to see some of the ESPN powers have their heads on straight.

Life of Reilly
By Rick Reilly

The Utes trampled Alabama to complete a perfect season. How are they not national champions?
Some gifts people give are pointless: Styling mousse to Dick Vitale. An all-you-can-eat card to Kate Moss. The BCS Championship given to Oklahoma or Florida.
It means nothing because the BCS has no credibility. Florida? Oklahoma? Who cares? Utah is the national champion.
The End. Roll credits.
Argue with this, please. I beg you. Find me anybody else that went undefeated. Thirteen-and-zero. Beat four ranked teams. Went to the Deep South and seal-clubbed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. The same Alabama that was ranked No. 1 for five weeks. The same Alabama that went undefeated in the regular season. The same Alabama that Florida beat in order to get INTO the BCS Championship game in the first place.
Yeah, that's how it is now in the shameful, money-grubbing world of college football. If you're Florida and you beat Alabama, you get a seat in the title game. If you're Utah, you get a seat on your sofa.
Hey, remind me: What do they give out for one of those BCS things anyway? It's been so long since I cared. Something from Sears? This is the sixth year in the past 10 that the title has been in dispute under this cash-grab, fan-dis, monopoly that the BCS has created. Which is why the title game just doesn't matter anymore. It's like being named Miss Ogallala. Or Best Amish Electrician.
Just take a look at the teams that think they're worthy of being called national champs:
USC? Great year. Wonderful. Let's all go to SkyBar and celebrate. But it lost to Oregon State, a team Utah beat.
Texas? You think beating Ohio State by a nubby three points gets you the title? The Big Ten was 1-6 in bowl games! That's like pinning David Spade!
Florida and Oklahoma? They lost. Utah never did.
So that's it. Utah is the national champion. The Utes should probably have two now, actually. They went undefeated in 2004, too, and their coach still thinks they were the best team in the land. Smart fella named Urban Meyer. Coaches Florida now.
By the way, we're calling our title the "national" championship because it actually includes the whole nation—all 119 Division I schools—unlike the BCS, which includes 66. Yeah, the BCS somehow eliminated the middleman—the NCAA. The conferences these schools play in take their dump trucks full of cash straight from the TV networks and fairness can go suck a lemon.
The Utes won't get the trophy they really deserve, so we gave them one of our own design.
Do me a favor. Call Ohio State president Gordon Gee and ask him why he won't support a playoff. He's one of the most powerful presidents in the NCAA. He could get it done. If he says anything other than, "We don't want to share the loot" then you know he's lying his bow tie off.
"This is not how we normally do things in America," says Utah president Michael Young. "In America, quality usually wins, not conspiracy. And there's a reason people usually enter into a conspiracy. It's money. You make money doing it. And those that are in on the conspiracy want to stay in and keep everybody else out."
Sure, BCS blowhards will hand you schlock about how the college football season is like a playoff, how it's an elimination tournament every week. Really? Well, how come Florida and Oklahoma weren't eliminated with their losses? Utah ran the table, beat everybody set in front of them, including Ala-damn-bama in no less than the Sugar Bowl, and gets the bagel.
Oh, by the way? It was Utah's eighth straight bowl win, the nation's longest streak. Among the losers during that run? Let's see USC, Georgia Tech, Pittsburgh, and now the legendary Houndstooth Hats.
"What else do we have to prove?" asks Utah's magical quarterback, Brian Johnson. Good question. He and the Utes essentially whipped Alabama at home. Handed Nick Saban a garlic necklace to wear the entire off-season. Stepped on his team's neck 21-0 in the first three possessions and never looked back. Let's see. Who was it that was losing to Alabama until nearly six minutes into the fourth quarter? Oh, yeah. Florida.
What, you want the Utes to win a spelling bee? Make a prize-winning souffle? Knock up Angelina Jolie? What?
It just slays me. It really does.
Call Myles Brand, president of the asleep-at-the-wheel NCAA, and ask him if he and his greedy presidents are going to stand in defiance of president-elect Barack Obama, who wants a playoff and wants it yesterday.
Ask Brand what he's going to do if Obama starts asking the Justice Department to look into anti-trust hearings against the BCS. The Utah Attorney General has already launched an investigation into that very thing. Or ask him what he'll do if Obama asks the Department of Education to consider withholding federal funds from these schools that have entered into this secret club called the BCS. You don't think playing in the title game means millions in general-fund donations for a school? That's as unfair as anything Title IX fought against.
Until all these people do the right thing, I'll be celebrating with the true national champions—the undefeated, untied Utah Utes. (Our new slogan: Utahk about a team!)
Lemonades for everybody!

A case for #1

2009-01-07T12:58:00.002-07:00

How sweet is Sugar!!!

2009-01-04T21:13:00.002-07:00

I needed to put a shout out to the Utes this past friday night. Wow did they show up and really catch Bama with a stunned look on their face. Right out of the gates firing on all cylinders, what a Sweet game it was to watch. When Nick Saben was named Coach of the year about a week ago I had a good feeling that Bama might come out a little over confident. The speed of the Utah Defense was Incredible they must have had some extra Sugar on their Wheaties because I haven't seen them look so well rounded the whole season. They completely shut down a great running game.

Overall a Perfect season! As a fan you can't ask for much more. I think that if Utah played like that against either Florida/Oklahoma we could be the National Champs. Bringing a second BCS Bowl victory home in just 4 years we are hoping to get a little respect from the rest of the country. I am really hoping that the Mountain West can become another BCS Conference in the future. Utah's Quest ended in Perfection 31-17 , 13-0.

My Two Cents

2009-01-02T13:59:00.007-07:00

CAN YOU CHEER FOR YOUR RIVAL?

Wow, this conversation has gone all over the board over the past few weeks. Certainly, it began in August with BYU's "Quest for perfection" and Utah's feelings of being the second rate team not only in the conference, but in the state. Many fans, primarily BYU, were sure that nothing short of a BCS berth would be an acceptable end to this season. And sure enough, almost to the mid-point of the season, pundits were even speculating that BYU could be good enough to take on the Championship Game. Then TCU came and BYU fell flat. Meanwhile, the team up on the hill just kept their noses down and kept winning. It wasn't always pretty, but at least they were winning.

Then came the rivalry game and I think the heat on the smack talk picked up. I really think it was due largely in part the fact that BYU fans were honestly afraid that we weren't going to win this game and so we hid behind our history and our numbers cuz it made us feel safe. No need to recap the debacle that was Max Hall, suffice it to say, BYU dropped another one.

Then the talk of BCS games moved to the north and we all sat and wondered where Utah might go and whether they would get another pancake or a worthy foe. Enter the Crimson Tide.

Now the question BYU fans? Can you cheer for Utah? Can you set aside your hate for all things Ute and cheer on the local variety of Crimson Red or does your hate burn so deeply that you are the world's biggest Alabama fan tonight? My brother-in-law follows the latter. He claims that if you are a true fan, you CANNOT cheer for your rival. And though married to a loyal Ute fan, he's threatened to raise up Bama posters in their living room tonight. A friend of mine said he is pulling for Utah "(strictly for conference pride and validation)" but that he is "all for Utah getting crushed, except that Utah getting crushed also injures BYU due to 'guilt by association'. If BYU could be neutral in a Utah drubbing then I would be all fo it".

During this season I've been all over the board. I watched the Michigan game this season and found myself trying to cheer for Michigan because I hated Utah so much, but I couldn't keep it up the whole game. I tried to be happy that they almost lost to OSU, but was more relieved when they pulled it out and again against TCU. Granted at that time there would be no battle of the unbeatens at the end of November, but the table was set for a matchup of the ages and I was happy for the Utes. Since finding their location and opponent for this year's bowl game, I've been pulling for Utah. I find myself appreciating the competition from the team on the hill because it not only improves the conference respect, but it should improve BYU's team as a byproduct of needing to adapt schemes and personnel in order to acheive what Utah has now acheived twice.

As a loyal and true BYU fan, I say, "Go Utes!" I can say that with honesty and sincerity; there is no guile in my exclamation.

What say you BYU fans?

Got a Pulse?

2008-12-17T23:26:00.006-07:00

...then I have a reason for you to be interested in NCAA men's basketball this season.For those who are looking for a reason to watch men's bball this year. I mean those who don’t care that BYU is 10-0 and aren’t to excited about following the Utes in a less than spectacular start. For those who are growing tired of North Carolina throwing a grown-up-NBA-style smackdown on anyone they face. For those looking for something more, something intriguing. I have just the thing. His name is Stephen Curry (pronounced Steffan Curry) and he plays for Davidson.

For those who have seen him there is phrase that comes to mind when seeing him drop 40 points a night and that phrase is “In your eye, chump”. This guys is so good I think I’ll follow suit and change my name to Scuba Steph. He leads the nation in scoring and that is even after an entire game of being doubleteamed. He had two defenders on him the entire game against Loyola a few weeks ago and didn’t score a point. Of course, Davidson blew them out by 30 (it helps to have a power play the entier game). Even with that scoreless night he’s still averaging 32 points a game (#1 in the nation). Papa Dell's gotta be proud of this young chapp.

Not to get off the subject but having fun watching this kid play got me thinking about a strange sports phenomenon. Offense = Excitement. Example; Noone likes sitting through 90 minutes of soccer to have the final score be 0-0. Might as well have a 90 minute footrace with no finishline. It's a sports fact that we all just need to face. How else can you explain people filling an ice rink full of dead carcases after a goal in hockey? Again, offense=excitement. Say it with me, "Offense Equals Excitement". That being the case; Steph Curry is an offensive/scoring/excitement machine. If he’s eight feet off the three point line, get a hand up cause it’s going up and it’s probably going in. Thank you Stephen Curry, for giving ALL people a reason to watch men's bball this season.

Banker Bites

2008-12-17T18:45:00.002-07:00

Where will Coach Whit go?

First, Ute defensive coordinator, Gary Anderson, took the helm in Logan as head coach.
Next, Ute offensive coordinator, Andy Ludwig, took the position as OC for Kansas State.

The head coach of the unbeaten Utah Utes can't be far behind.

Can I get another Boler?

2008-12-14T22:10:00.008-07:00

I don't know about you, but I'm sick of hearing Ronald the Duck Boone ask Bolerjack if he can give away yet another Morgan Jewelers Diamond Play of the Game Award. By the end of the 1st quarter he typically has given away 2 or 3. How about this Booner.........give the award away at the END of the game!! That way, you'll only the plaY of the game, not playS of the game. If there is 1 award give it to 1 play, not 3 per quarter.

Banker reminded me of a similar thing going on at the SNF horse trailer. It's almost become a game to Madden to see how many guys he can plaster up there. I've seen him recognize the entire offensive line before. Now that looks lovely - 5 fat heads in a 2' x 2' square area.

Make up your mind folks!! You're diluting the value of the award if you give it away to every player who touched the ball or made a good block.

And what's with ESPN's college football awards? I think Bradford, McCoy, and Tebow all received best college football quarterback/football player awards of some sort last week. If that's the case, then who really is the best?

Let's water it down some more by thowing ME in there! You should have seen a TD pass I threw in this year's turkey bowl. Where's Ronald the Duck when you need him?

Holiday's replace Sports?

2008-12-11T17:45:00.003-07:00

This is the time to get ready for the biggest holiday of the year, at least for me. I also am thinking of what sporting events are even coming up though out the holiday season. Really all that we have right now are NFL and NBA. NFL is (wrapping) up and only have a couple of good games to watch each week. The NBA is starting to take off like Santa's Sleigh the Lakers and Spurs are good as well some teams in the east. I don't think the Jazz are preforming. It seems like DWILL is not taking over and taking charge like I see Chris Paul doing. What is Up Deron? I am excited for the Sugar Bowl and Hope that the Utes really give Alabama a run for their Money!! To all smack fans. Happy Holidays and Hope all your teams Win. I think that we need to realize that families are important and they are the ones that help support our Fannhoodness. I Love being a Fan, and Love being fans with my family. UTES UNITE!

Banker's Bites

2008-12-08T09:04:00.003-07:00

I for one am glad that Utah is going to New Orleans to play in the Sugar Bowl against Alabama. I was fairly concerned that the BCS would stick them in Phoenix to play against Cincinnati or Virginia Tech. I just hope that Brian Johnson and company can find a way to move the ball against that defense and make the rest of the conference, state, and non-BCS elite proud. Go Utah!

P.S. Congrats to BYU on a fourth straight Vegas Bowl. Yeah!

GAME OR SPORT

2008-12-04T00:08:00.001-07:00

This issue might be belated as it has been over a month since it first surfaced on this blog but it’s been in the back of my mind annoying me like a nagging cough that robs a person of a good night sleep. I’ve seen it in the media, I’ve seen it on T.V., I’ve seen it glamorized by documentaries, and I’ve even heard it brought up around the water cooler at work. But when this topic appeared on CBACSMACK so quickly while our blog was still in its infancy, I knew I had to draw the line and put an end to this silly riff raff. I am referring to the issue of calling the World Series of Poker a sporting event.

Webster defines the noun, sport, as “a physical activity engaged in for pleasure”. That is a very basic description with a shadow big enough to cover a wide variety of activities. Yet, even as open as this definition is, poker cannot fall within its reach.

You see, a card game cannot be anything else but a card game not matter how much a network tries to glamorize it. Add all the airtime, water bottles, “eyeball” sunglasses, bracelets, and bleachers you want. It’s still a card game. Adding in the title of World Series was a clever trick to make people subconsciously link it to other sporting events that have a world series but don’t be fooled. I have the WSOOM (World Series of Old Maid) at my house ever other month but I still can’t get FSN out here to film us. Maybe someday soon.

I will admit that Texas Hold’em is great fun and requires a lot of skill to play. But this is not the 19th century, and we’re not on a riverboat floating down the Mississippi so quit force-feeding us with it on ESPN. If I wanted to watch overweight losers try to win big, I’d go sit and watch the slot machines in Wendover. To me, there has got to be something better to put on an Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (ESPN). Put surfing, or scuba diving, or freestyle walking. I’d even be happy if you put Man vs. Wild on ESPN. I would actually rather watch high-definition grass grow than watch anything that has to do with this hogwash.

Card games are not sports and sports are not card games. I am “all in” with that opinion and I will take it to my grave. I’ve said my peace on the matter now “Shuffle-up‘n-deal” out your comments.

My Two Cents

2008-12-02T16:29:00.001-07:00

Tis the season

As we rapidly approach Christmas our minds become attuned to one thing . . . no, I know what you are thinking and no, that’s not it. This is a sports blog and I’m not thinking about what to get my friends and family for Christmas. I’m thinking, NFL Playoffs. What a great time of year. We’ve started preparing for this late in the summer as we set up our fantasy football leagues and researched countless hours of data in order to draft the ultimate team. We’ve sat in front of our televisions every Sunday for more hours than most people spend in the church of choice. We’ve followed our team as well as those players who happen to be on our fantasy team this year and we’ve even found ourselves cheering for hated franchises such as the Denver Broncos because Jay Cutler or Brandon Marshall happen to headline your team this year.

I look forward to the kickoff of the NFL every year. I read blogs and articles all through the off-season about this fact and that news story as it relates to the NFL. Then the playoffs come and what you’ve hung on for all season long finally arrives and brings with it a renewed dedication to the sport we all love.

Why can’t college football see the bigger picture? The BCS pundits claim that longer seasons would risk injuring players, ruin the need of the regular season, blah blah blah. The reality is that the lower division teams (high school as well) can play as many as 18 games in a season by playing all the way through the championship game. The NFL plays more. The reality is that a playoff system, similar to what lower division NCAA leagues play in would enhance the need for the regular season.

There have been many playoff formats that have been proposed for college football but I think the one I like most is a 16-team playoff. 16 teams allows for each conference (11) that competes in D-I football to field its champion in the playoff. The remaining five can be “at-large” selected by a committee as is currently done in the basketball community so that good teams, such as Texas Christian, Ohio State, and the runners-up in the SEC, Big 12, and Pac-10 conferences this year could also be rewarded for very good seasons.

To ensure the regular season continues to maintain its level of importance, the first three rounds could be played on the home field of the higher seeded team, thus rankings such as the AP, USAToday, and the BCS would maintain their validity in ranking the teams. Only the final championship game would be played on a neutral site, rotating year after year to a different site much like the Super Bowl does now. Revenues would be returned to the universities, to the NCAA; tradition and passion would return to the stadiums across the country instead of shipping teams half way across the country to a neutral stadium where most fans are not fans of the teams playing. And we all know that followers of this blog are known for their passion for sports, so this would be a welcome change to be able to see the Utes this year hosting a team of Ohio States history and caliber come to Rice-Eccles.

It is time for college football to wake up and smell the bigger picture. Most years a higher seeded team would win against a lower seeded team at home but there are years you would also see a Boise State upset an Oklahoma. Fans would tune in to watch the potential for the big upset. It is documented that viewership of the college football “postseason” increased with the introduction of the BCS model and it would increase even more with a playoff system in place.

BIG WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

2008-11-23T02:02:00.002-07:00

What a wonderfully great game. I was sitting on pins and needles for most of the game. Pretty good first half and third quarter. Max Hall had a tough day but I give the credit to the Utah defense for putting some serious pressure. There was so many tipped balls I think I was getting into Max's head. I don't really put it all on him. BYU seemed to not be spreading the offense like usual. Utah was trying to stay with Austin and if we did that Hall seemed to be forcing the issue to the others that were not open. Utah Stepped Up on the biggest game and BYU didn't. For that reason I must say Utah is a Better team. If the Utes can remember what they did tonight and reproduce it again in the BCS game. We will give anybody a good game. Utah looked really good tonight and any BYU fan can't really deny that. I agree it was not BYU best game nor was it the best Holy War Game ever, but a Win is a Win. This was the Biggest Win for this Season. But the most important win is yet to come. The perfect season is still in tact, and let us all hope that is stays that way.
48-24

The week has been full great smack talk and till next year the Utes have the Glory. Hopefully next year the Quegs, can have a better showing on max's Senior Day. Actually 9 interceptions would be a little better for me.

GO UTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Banker Bites

2008-11-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

I can't believe its almost kickoff time and we haven't had any score predictions for today.

BYU 28
Utah 24

My Two Cents

2008-11-22T09:17:00.001-07:00

College Football Experts

Sorry C-BCAC Smack blog followers, I've been in some mandatory training this week and it's taken me away from my posting here. This won't be long as I've got plenty to do today before kickoff in T – 7 hours and counting but I've been chewing on this for several days and I just have to spit it out now.

As you all know, I bleed blue with most diehard of Cougar fans and I loathe almost all that is Red. I just can't get behind a team like the one on the hill. But my comments here aren't an attempt to show how awesome BYU is or how much the Utes suck. I wanted to talk about the perception many Cougar fans have that they know EVERYTHING about college football. I think some of the things that really get on Ute fans' nerves about Cougar fans are:

The world revolves around BYU
Every Cougar fan "knows" that every call that goes against the Cougars was a bad call and they could call the game better
For all their expression of college football knowledge, many don't know a thing about it if it isn't BYU

Let me illustrate. Recently, while emailing a good friend of mine, he made the comment that his in-laws won't let him watch football when he is around. While lamenting his dilemma, he said, "Unless BYU is playing, then they are college football experts." I think this is true of so many Cougar fans. I don't think the sun rises and sets with BYU football, but many do. While attending the games this season I saw the shift in enthusiasm for the team after TCU exposed the Cougars. The UCLA game was so energized. The electricity was almost tangible. Fierce chants of "B-Y-U" rang through the stadium every time we handled the Bruins. But since the TCU loss, the fans were more lethargic, less willing to stand up on big plays. It was as if the Frogs not only beat the Cougars, but they also separated many fans from their enthusiasm, simply because BYU was no longer on the magical BCS rollercoaster. With BYU fans, I don't think there is much room to even allow the possibility of cheering for another school exists. I'm not suggesting that we cheer for Utah EVER, but I enjoy watching other teams such as Oklahoma, Florida, and USC. I can tell you who is sitting where in the polls and whether I feel they belong where they are ranked. But I fear too many BYU fans only believe that Provo is the center of the universe.

That being said, I'm cheering on the blue and white today in Rice-Eccles. And though I may have just ranted about BYU fans, I don't exclude the narrow-mindedness of so many Ute fans, many of whom I can safely refer to as BYU haters. While listening to the radio, and reading through posts on various websites, all you hear is "After Utah wins, we're having a BYU sucks party." Well if all you are doing is having a "BYU sucks" party does it matter who wins? You can have one of those anyway. I truly feel that some Ute fans only cheer for the red for lack of another school nearby to root for. I have a suggestion; there is purple 45 minutes to the north or another blue team 90 minutes away. I don't think that true fan hood should revolve around cheering for one team, simply because you hate another. Get a team and get behind them. I hate the Utes because I am a BYU fan and not a BYU fan because I hate the Utes. I know plenty of Utah fans that simply hate BYU because they love their Utes, but I don't know one Cougar fan that loves BYU only because they hate the University of Utah.

Game Day!!

2008-11-22T08:53:00.002-07:00

The trash has been spoken and its now its game time baby!! May the best team win. After the game, I'll either be doing two and quite possibly three things: 1. Savoring the 3rd straight BYU victory. 2. Hanging my head in agony from defeat. 3. Option 1 or 2 but in jail for civil disturbance.

Whatever the outcome, I expect a victory post by the time I get home.

Victorious Dining

2008-11-21T23:39:00.020-07:00

I couldn't let the entire rivalry week pass me by without posting my own version of smackaliciousness.

Some places to enjoy the victory after the game Ute Fans.

Those two are obvious. Then there's,

A UTAH Original. Or...

They're known for their exotic meats, maybe Cougar's on the menu.

I only recommend it because it was founded by the University of Utah's founder, Brother Brigham. It feels appropriate. Don't you think?

Or just head home to finish off the last few scoops of Dreyer's Utah Blitz in the freezer.

Be sure to avoid any restaurant that serves Apple Beer and closes before 11:00 p.m. or else you'll have to listen to blubbering whinneyness, sniffing and sob stories in broken-hyperventilated-sentences of how the game was lost and you might just loose your appetite.

Nice Win Utes!!!!

Pirates are Original

2008-11-20T12:30:00.003-07:00

You Quegs Have your share of Stupid fans. The Pirate Fan at least has some originality, this guy is just lame and lacks any remnant of an original Idea. Byu is going down this year and so all you will have to hold on to is the hope that your Basketball team survives. I can't stand 98 percent of all BYU fans and it is probably because of the pompus way they carry themselves and how boastful they can be when they are winning.
I was at a game a few years ago and a BYU Queg was running his mouth the entire game and was seated in the U's Student section and was chirping in everybodys ear. Lucky for him they won on the "Prayer". Unlucky for his nose was flattened because that was the final straw that broke a fairly large mans patience. I have never found pleasure in seeing someone hurt. But that was pretty nice. Just a little Tact is all I am asking for. If I were ever to go to a game down south I would not rub an entire section saying the team that they love sucks. Cougar are Closeminded. It is always the calls that were wrong, a missed PI, the sun was in his eyes..... and so on. Utah can never outplay the cougars they are just to good. It should be a battle for 60 minutes or maybe more. The best week all year. Rivalry WEEK!!

watch other True Blue fans that make the Pirate look good

Banker’s Bites

2008-11-17T22:04:00.001-07:00

THE HOLY WAR

Forgive the use of the clichéd, inaccurate title, but it's that time of year and its here, so we're going with it. This game is building up to be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest in the history of the rivalry. It will be only the second time both teams have been ranked going into this game; the highest rankings to be certain. To get the excitement to a fever pitch, here are some recent memories in the rivalry:

1984

BYU caps off a perfect season 24-14 over the Utes and goes on to win the National Championship

1996

BYU torched the Utes 37-17

2000

In the final game of legendary head coach, LaVell Edwards (in front of a sold out Utah crowd) Brandon Doman reminded all of we Skyline alumni why we were so dominant in the late 90's as he took the ball in for the final score of the game. 34-27. Farewell coach

2001

Cougar fans enjoyed a memorable start to the season, including a 24-21 win over Utah to start the season 12-0 (only to lose the final 2 games.)

2004

I can't in good conscience leave this one out Ute fans. The Cougs were in the mire and muck of a filthy season while the rivals were rolling the competition. Utah won handily, got a Fiesta bowl invite, pounded Pittsburg and finished the season with the notoriety of being the first "BCS Buster"

2005

Unlikely hero, Brett Ratliff engineers a final drive in Provo for a 34-31 win in OT. The heated rivalry steps up here

2006

Harline is still open. 33-31 Click here to relive the glory

2007

4^th and 18 for 49 still ringing fans? 17-10 Here's the big catch

Yewt R' a Pirate!!!

2008-11-17T19:38:00.007-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYAIW_NUSaI

More moronic Utes at it again!! Last time I checked their mascot was a native Utah indian tribe. Well, now they think they're PIRATES!!!!! What's next, Care Bears?

At halftime of one game I had to ask this idiot in person..."What's with the pirate costume?" What a surprise, the brilliant idea (with the ship, don't forget that masterpiece) was drawn up on a NAPKIN, after getting plastered! I'm sorry, but this far out does any stupid thing a BYU fan can be blamed for.

You yewts are hard core fans!!! Too bad you're royally confused. Let me give you a hand. This is NCAA football, not MLB baseball. You don't live in Pittsburg, you live in Utah. You're the freaking UTES, NOT stupid PIRATES. Do you need me to remind you where to pee? No, not in your cup. Of course after the first quarter you wouldn't taste the difference, so go ahead....piss away. No, not on your son either! He might learn some bad habbits. You have shown him so many good ones, why do something stupid like pee on your son? After the game, are you going to set sail to finally get that blasted Peter Pan and Wendy? If you do, don't forget Tinkerbell and her pixy dust. After all, she may be the source of the MAGIC!!! BYU 33 Utah 31 - Again!

Introduction

2008-11-15T12:09:00.002-07:00

It is with a solemn heart and a feeling of great honor that I accept this invitation to join this elite group of sports bloggers. I consider myself now duty bound to contribute in a manner befitting the standards already established heretofore on this blog.

So, this being my first post, I find myself in a bit of a quandary. I am associating myself now with sports enthusiasts with the names of Thumbs, Chops, Scuba, and DK Smack and I am only now becoming aware that I lack an appropriate Smack Blog nickname.

Therefore, I need your help loyal followers of the CBAC Smack Blog. I need a good solid nickname for signing my posts. Keep em short, keep em witty, and we’ll go from there.

I look forward to many future opportunities to share thoughts with one another about our shared passion of sports.

Signed,

Saturday, Nov. 22nd, 4:00 pm - Its on!!!

2008-11-09T21:20:00.005-07:00

This will be very short and to the point - Its on.

Although BYU will come into the game as the underdog, we all know how most of these games turn out. There nothing but dog fights till the end, no matter which team is "better" than the other. So let the smack begin....

2008-11-09T20:06:00.002-07:00

Does anyone recognize this man? I’ll tell you a little bit about him and see if he rings a bell. In high school he was an All-State football player as a junior and senior. He was also a two-time All-District and All-Centex selection and twice selected to Team Texas. He’s been in the starting lineup since his freshman year in high school.

This man is Ross Evans, the kicker for TCU. As of late he has been in the news for the two missed field goals at the end of the game against Utah last Thursday. Had either of the balls he kicked gone through the uprights at the end of that incredible game they would have negated the final spectacular touchdown thrown by Brian Johnson with only seconds to go. Disappointment and heartbreak are what he felt as he sat in the loneliest seat in Rice-Eccles. The camera showed him with his head in his hands as the clock hit zero. Nevermind the accolades, nevermind the high school awards and achievements. He was a big fat loser.

Over the past 24 hours of reflection, I have grown to respect the losers. It was less than 24 hours ago that I let a highly coveted CBAC championship slip through my very capable hands. No one who played in that tournament wanted that championship more than I did. The only other time I was in the final game, a player on the other team made 5 for 5 from the three-point line and some were from behind half court. I’ve always considered that if I were able to get back in the finals I wouldn’t let the trophy escape. Last night it escaped me again.

No doubt this let down is tremendously hard to swallow and only time, mental focus, and personal dedication to improvement can get a person through this. I guess 20 years from now the question will be, “is Ross Evans remembered for blowing TCU’s BCS chances?” or “is he being inducted into the Football Hall of Fame?” He is in control of that question. That’s what keeps me going. That’s the beauty of sports. Even the wake of a humiliating loss comes tremendous strength to come back stronger and that is what I plan to do.

Thumb's Thread Thursday- CBAC PASSION

2008-11-06T21:02:00.008-07:00

It's that time of year again, when the greatest sporting event will be played.

Where each drop of sweat, blood, and tears represents PASSION. PASSION is what CBAC is all about. Those who were chosen to take place in CBAC, should cherish this opportunity and pass this experience to the generations to come. Those who did not qualify to play this year. I urge you to find the love of the game, wash your jockstrap, and commit with dedication to play in the next CBAC. A CBAC player is not based upon your skill level, it is based upon your level of PASSION.

Here are the fortunate players chosen to participate in CBAC XV:

Team 1- Mike/ Snapple /John Stockton /Brett
Team 2- Matt Q / Nikki / Chopper / Jimmy
Team 3- PK / Special K / Richie / Lehi
Team 4- Sarge / Jason Mann / Bish / Tyler
Team 5- Joe / Scuba / Jason Q / Dave
Team 6- Shawn T. / Mark / Glenn / Danbo

I would like to share my analysis and predictions-

Team 1- I love this team, based on brotherly love and the name of John Stockton, however with Stocktons name involved, I see them falling short of the title. Welcome back Okiama.

Team 2- For some reason this team looks very familiar, I think they have played together in past CBAC's. This team is a contender. If Chopper can stay out of foul trouble, Nikki hits her base-line jumper, Matt Q makes 1 right hand lay-up, and Jimmy shares the ball, this team will win it. Too many if's.

Team 3- I like this team, but I see two inconsistencies. 1-Richie is too injury prone and 2-PK is either way ON or all the way OFF.

Team 4- I don't know this team very well, therefore chances are they will be exiting quickly.

Team 5- Dave really let me down last CBAC in my predictions, so I can't pick them to take it all this year. This team has the most playing experience together, which can be a good thing or bad. Bad in the sense that I can't tell you how many fist fights and verbal lashings I have witnessed between Scuba, Dave, and Joe while being on the same team. Jason Q, it is up to you to control the hot tempers of your compadres.

Team 6- This is the team to beat. This is my pick to win it all. Why? PASSION Baby! I don't think any team can match up PASSION wise. With the name of Danbo, the intensity of Mr. Glenn Paul, and the goggles of Gygi- No team has a chance. I know Shawn T. is a rookie but regardless of who he is, this team can't lose.

That's my take on this upcoming CBAC.
Good luck to all. Play hard or don't play at all!

With PASSION,

Your PASSIONate Thumbs

Olden Caveman Out Again!

2008-11-02T22:38:00.018-07:00

I'm not ready to call Oden a bust, but Sam Bowie has been backing off from the ledge within the last year or so. Oden is making Bowie look like a bargain. After sitting out his entire rookie year with a knee injury, I'm sure Gregory Oden took the floor in his first regular season NBA game ready to prove that all the hype is true - he can dominant the paint. Well after going 0-for-4 shooting, zero points, five rebounds, and two turnovers in a whopping 12 minutes 51 seconds of NBA action, Oden limped off the court like a wounded dog. What a surprise? What else is failing in his 85 year old body? This time its his ankle. Besides his right leg being longer than his left, he's staring down a long NBA career right in the face right? Well maybe, but so far he's done nothing but prove that all the hype is in fact true - He's a softie!!

I don't wish injuries upon anybody, but as a Jazz fan, I'd rather he not become a dominant factor in the West. Keep doing what your doing Olden. Maybe after 3 years of riding the bench, you'll be 40 and need a nice place to retire in the East where we won't have to worry about your "potential" anymore.

So here's to you Geico "Olden" Caveman.... I'm just glad I'm not paying for your health insurance.

Three Billy Goats Gruff

2008-10-27T12:01:00.007-06:00

After completing the Mule deer hunt of 2008 it became time to dust of the razor and trim back the facial manhood that I had been growing for about 3 months. Which got me thinking, Why don't more people have beards? Athletes rarely have beards nowadays, so I would like to take some time now to pay Homage to some of fellow bearded homeys. Since Thumbs hates him so much I will first present the upcoming UFC star Kimbo Slice. This Guy is a man beast and wears the beard great color, has great shape and pulls it off nicely.

Next is one of the all time greats, although I can't stand some of his commentating comments he still had a great career and deserves some props. Bill has so many pearls of wisdom I thought that you could use one for today.

"A lot of people understand what not saying anything means, so, in effect, not saying anything is really saying a lot."
Bill Walton

Speaking from experience there is no better feeling than warmth of a beard holding against the strength of a chilly brisk breeze. Beards are useful and I feel that they should be used more and more. I want to here smacker's thoughts giving the Pro's and Con's of facial hair in sports. Who are some of other greatest BEARDS in sports history. Jake "the Snake" Plummer and Baron Davis and Johnny Damon are some of my favorites. I think that the beard should be part of the uniform just like a Jock Strap or a helmet. May we all remember the lost and forgotten beautiful beard and bring them back at least as I do once a year. Let them see the light of day and let them grow like a Cheya Pet. Let you inner strengh grow, grow and not groom.

Grizzly Adams Did have a Beard.

Chattin With Chops - Go Go Go Joe!

2008-10-26T22:05:00.010-06:00

How would you like this innocent 81 year old man up in your grill after missing a block? This post goes out to Joe freaking Paterno!

After Saturdays big win over Ohio State in front of 105,711 fans at "the horse shoe," Penn State has a very good chance at playing for the National Championship. And all I can say is Go Go Go Joe!!

How can you not cheer for this guy? This is his 43rd year as head coach of the Nittany Lions, and that started 16 years after being the assistant.

The dude got pummled by a Wisconsin player in Nov. 06' but was back up in the booth coaching less than two weeks after knee surgery. He has missed just 3 games of his possible 663 games coached. The guy is nothing but a gamer. His record today is 380-125-3 while ridding an impressive undefeated season so far.

The guy is old school too. After watching the clip below, you'd think he should be in green acres retirement center playing hearts with Mildred, Ted, and Phylis. Not a chance with this skipper, he'll retire to nothing more than his grave! I'll be surprised if he hasn't already beat a player down with his cane during practice.

I have a ton of respect for long tenured "hard school" coaches at any one institution or team. So in the spirit of Joe Pa, I'd like to hear what coaches you've enjoyed watching and why? Coach Knight was always fun to watch erupt. J-Slo John Deer has always flavored us with a few choice words and foot pounding during each game. Majerous? Wooden? Ditka? Rokney?

Thumb's Thread Thursday- Fanhood Priorities

2008-10-23T18:58:00.006-06:00

With Scuba's post about his distaste of soccer and Chopper's post about fanhood, I have been in deep thought of my fanhood priorities.

If you are reading this post, it can only mean that you are a true sports fan, so I would like you to close your eyes and search deep within your sporting fanhood and imagine this; If all your favorite teams or athletes were in the final championship game at the same time, list in order the sport and team you would watch(in person)? Here is a list of my sporting priorities, come up with your own and send a reply.

NBA- Utah Jazz
NFL- Chicago Bears
FIFA World Cup- USA, Brasil
NCAA Football- BYU
NCAA Basketball- BYU
MLB- Boston Redsox
PGA- Tiger Woods, Boo Weekley
MLS- Real Salt Lake
UFC- Anderson "the spider" Silva, BJ Penn "the prodigy"

NHL- Pittsburg Pengiuns
ATP- Tommy Haas
WTP- Maria Sharapova, Venus Williams
Boxing- Mike Tyson
NASCAR- Dale Earnhart Jr., Tony Stewart

WSOP- Gus Hansen "the great dane"

Table Tennis- Ma Lin

If you so choose to smack talk any of my priorities, BRING THE SMACK ON.

Groundhog Day or the NBA

2008-10-22T01:15:00.002-06:00

Call me Punxsutawney Phil but I have the urge to do a little prognosticating about a certain Jazzman who has lived up to his potential absolutely horribly. That’s right, I speak of Calvin Andre Miles Jr. aka C.J. Miles. Imagine you were a basketball player who woke up at the beginning of the season, enjoyed the learning process, and progress throughout the season and then when the season’s clock hit 6:00 a.m. you woke up to a little “Sonny and Cher” music and the season was just beginning again. The story makes for a great movie but a pretty weak basketball career. Every year it’s the excact same thing. Great promise, and potential at the beginning of the season and a huge letdown to follow. And the Jazz just signed him to 15million this year. The dude is making the same as players such as, Tyrus Thomas, Willie Green, Fabricio Oberto, Daniel Gibson, and Delonte West. You see these guys’ stat lines and you have to feel a little bit cheated.

Anyway, back to my predictions. When I peek my head out this season I see a big dark shadow looming over his career. In fact, it’s the same shadow I saw last season, and the season before. Wait a minute, have these been different seasons or have they been all the same day?

Jazz fans, if you want to know what to look forward to this year with C.J. Miles, just look at the past two years and you’ll have seen it all. Just like Groundhog Day over and over again. As I recall, the man who was living that life got so frustrated that he committed suicide several days in a row. I’m not saying we do anything drastic, I’m just saying to be ready for some frustration because it’s well on its way.

Chattin with Chops - What type of FAN are you? Are you THAT guy?

2008-10-19T23:00:00.034-06:00

Each Sunday I, Chopper, will offer up something that has been on my mind during the week.

With the C-BAC Smack announcement going out on Tuesday, I'd like to get a taste of who is out there. As a BYU and Utah football season ticket holder, I get to see some "different" sports fans on a weekly basis. Beyond the rivalry, sports fans all around fall into certain prototypes. Here is a small list to begin with. Add to the list if you're so inclined.

#1. The Armchair Quarterback - This guy believes that if only he were out there, things would have worked out perfectly. Maybe he can't let go of his glory days in little league or high school. He thinks the coach and players are horrible and need to be fired or cut from the team.

Personal Admition - I've definatley shared these characteristics at times. When Karl missed those free throws in 98' (or was it 99?), I couldn't help but wonder if I could have sunk those babies.

#2 The Dedicated Loser - This guys's fanhood runs so deep that he's willing pay the admission price to personally watch blowout after blowout. If he wasn't personally there each game, he'd feel incredibly guilty. Besides, he wouldn't want to miss their first win in 4 years. Someday things might turnaround. His favorite post season phrase: "Next year will be much better."

Not me - I'm not wasting my hard earned money to watch my team suck it up year after year, no matter how long I've been a fan. I'll keep cheering from home, but I'm not wasting my time and money only to sit in misery for hours on end.

#3 The Stupid Sign Maker -These guys have a personal message for somebody out there. It can be directed to the opponents fans & players, TV markets, or even your own team. These folks are often considered the most passionate fans who are willing to embarrase themselves while holding up the sign. Many times, the work to prepare the sign far exceeds the actual value of showing the sign. How do I know? I'm a sign maker at times, especially at Jazz playoff games.

#4 The Fighter - This is the guy who can't control his emotions at games. Opposing hecklers get in his head to point where he just blows it and either says something he regrets or even worse gets tossed from the game for fighting. Most often they're drunk or naturally hot headed.

Personal Admition - I've never been in a real scuffle, but I've been very close to throwing fists. Both of them were at BYU v. Utah games. The first was my bro. in law's fault by talking smack after a BYU loss at Rice Stadium. Great idea!! The second was last year at BYU when a moronic Ute fan bumped me a little too hard thinking Utah had just won the game. Little did he know it was only 4th and 18.

# 5 The Bandwagoner - The guy or gale in this case immediately began liking a team because it was the best thing to do for their social life. Now granted, Jessica is rooting for her boyfriend Tony Romo, but if her next boyfriend plays for the Eagles, she'll be wearing green before you know it.

Partial Admition - I became a Red Sox fan in 04' when they came out of obscurity and finally pushed my #1 hated team ever (NY Yankees) to the side. It's a great rivalry and I love cheering against the Yankees. In that way, I'm a bandwagoner. I love Boston's tradition and the fact that they sing Neil's "Sweet Caroline" at home games. How can you beat that?

# 6 The Face/Chest Painter - These guys define ultimate manhood by proudly spelling out something stupid with their bare chests and painted faces, often in freezing tempetures. They want all the fans and TV cameras to notice how dedicated they are to their team. They too are often drunk and completely out of touch with reality.

Personal Admition - I think I tried this once at a Skyline HS football playoff game at Rice Stadium. It's too bad or maybe 'too good' that I didn't make the yearbook. Thumbs AKA Daniel Hansen did though.

Well, there is a short list of how some fans are and I admit to showing tendancies of most of them. What does your PASSION drive you to do? What do you like/dislike about other fans?

Plop! Out comes the Egg! BYU 7 - TCU 32

2008-10-16T21:44:00.009-06:00

It kills me to write this, but BYU just made the goose from Willy Wanka look like an overrated gosling. Step aside golden goose, BYU has just outdone you!

Just when I'm about to start blogging that BYU has a very legitimate shot at going to a BCS bowl game, BINGO! They get rolled like the fat on coach Patterson's belly.

TCU owned every aspect of the game through their speed. Both of BYU's lines were bigger, but TCU's seemed almost twice as quick. Hall had hardly anytime to throw the ball and the running game was almost null. The Frog's secondary closed on the ball as fast as a lion closes on a limping zebra. And BYU's defense? Good "team effort" there, you bunch of slow walk-ons. I wish BYU could recruit some DB's with some decent speed that can lock up receivers and go one on one. This "team defense" stuff just got burned with scolding hot water. Bend but don't break? Pss Leaze!!! It just got crushed by a consistant offense. Something that BYU has never seen this season before tonight.

Now don't get me wrong. I'm a huge BYU fan and still believe they are GOOD, just not GREAT like everybody (like myself) thought. The #9 ranking, well, flush that down the drain. Maybe we'll see it again next year. But cheer up Charlie Chops! BYU can at least look forward to that exciting Las Vegas bowl right? Wrong! That bowl is worth as much as its property value, worthless! As long as we keep getting matched up with the 5th seed out of the overrated PAC 10, nobody cares. Not even Bronco himself.

As far as what this big L means for all you drunk Ute fans..........beat TCU and BYU and you'll be chomping Tostitos again. But don't get your hopes up, be prepare to get blazed by TCU's speed and on Nov 22nd...... get ready for another great showdown.

-An angry Chops.

Bambi vs. Man

2008-10-13T22:27:00.001-06:00

It is the season of the sport that many call hunting. It’s Bambi vs. Man, the underdog in this match-up is definitely Bambi and I love cheering for the underdog, so I say Run Bambi Run. For all those hunters out there, all I hope you catch is the cold. Call me a wuss, call me a sissy; I just have a hard time killing animals. I guess I am like “Powder” and I can feel their pain and fear. I shot a rabbit once and a couple of birds; after every kill I had an uneasy sick feeling in my stomach. Many of my friends and family hunt, on many occasions they have invited me to go with them; however it’s that gut feeling I get that keeps me away from hunting. I do believe that the human race are “hunters and gatherers” and if hunger is an issue, we should provide for our families; however when people hunt for sport and trophy, I disagree with their motives and intentions.

Yours truly,

Treehugger Thumbs

How ReAl isn't Real to me!

2008-10-09T18:27:00.000-06:00

Tonight the RSL Stadium becomes part of Salt Lake City’s history. I’m not too sure how I feel about that. To be honest, my feelings are about as twisted as a bag of 5 for $5.95 curly fries going this way then that. As a spectator watching from the comfort of my own home with the competition of the Jazz preseason home opener against Shaqdaddy and the NLCS Game 1, I have between a 0%-30% chance of watching the RSL game tonight. TiVo’s busy tonight so I’m going to have to make a decision. The stadium itself is a healthy dose of high-quality studliness. Part of the reason being that it sits in Salt Lake City and has the Wasatch Front rising high into the sky giving the new field a Home-Sweet-Home-Franklin-Covey feel to it, part of it can be that it’s a step in the right direction for Salt Lake to come from a small market to a mid market city. And part of it could be that the stadium is only 2 minutes from my house. Yes, I agree with most people when they say that the new stadium is amazing but it doesn’t overcome my feelings for the sport it was created for. The field is beautiful, no doubt about that, but the activities on the field I haven’t fallen in love with. I know I have every reason to love the world’s sport of soccer. I’m one tenth Argentine, I have a Major League Soccer team 2 min from my house, I was in Argentina during the 2002 World Cup and caught the fire of a frenzied nation, and I have the sport’s greatest and most celebrated player leave his arrogant homeland and join us here in the good ole U.S.of A. to help inspire me to like the game and yet I won’t be able to cause my finger to change the station from a non-HD KJZZ preseason NBA game to watch RSL in HD on ESPN2. What is the problem here? I’m not sure, but I think I need to say that I just don’t like Soccer. I might need to see a shrink but the sport just doesn’t do it for me. I know this might casue some discomfort to hear from some of the CBACSMACK counterparts but I can't blame them for getting sucked into the blindness of a sportless sport. Rather I'd like to explain myself more fully.

Why don't I like soccer? Well, I do understand that the sport requires endurance, balance, coordination, endurance, and endurance. If you can run a marathon you can be decent at soccer. When a sport makes your hands illegal the sport’s threshold for excitement is limited. If you can run fast and kick hard you can make it as a soccer player and many people in this world can run fast and kick hard. Maybe that is why the world loves the sport because the whole world can be good at it. Not everyone can hit a 95 MPH baseball 400 ft or throw a 65yard touchdown. Not everyone can even dribble a basketball much less compete at the level of the NBA. My point is this – MLS players are the best at what they do. However, the space between the best, the mediocre, and the poor is very small and has very grayed lines. And that is the reason for my distaste for the sport. With the empowerment of the average player to be great, comes the inability for greatness. Diego Maradona made some incredible goals in his career and it completely defined him as a person but his talent doesn't extend him to the outer reaches of sporting mythology. He might have been the only one to have completed such a task but there are hundreds if not thousands of players that are at a level not far behind. That is what bothers me about the sport. It's an "everyone's special" sport and when everyone is special, no one is.

I sincerely hope my opinion changes for my sake so that I can enjoy Rio Tinto Stadium down the street. But as for now, anything other than free tickets to RSL is too rich for my blood.